3043
04-13-2006, 10:15 PM
Today I was born.
Today someone died.
Today someone else will live.
I rarely go to work on particular days of the year. Early in my career I learned that my capacity to care and be compassionate has limits. My birthday isn’t usually a day I stay away from the hospital. I don’t know if I should have taken special consideration for today.
A few days ago a house fire broke out. A mother died in an effort to save the youngest, (18 months old), of her children. Everyone else lived but the 18 month old’s body was broken and not long for this world.
Today I was born.
Today a father made a brave and terrible choice.
Today I bore witness to death, hope and the greatness of man.
Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there…" Abraham traveled to remote Moriah and built a funeral pyre. He drew his knife and prepared to kill his only sone.
But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven,
"Abraham! Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.
"Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."
No angel appeared today that I could see or at least needed to see and a son was sacrificed.
The father in question chose to donate what organs of his son’s were still in shape to help other people. He had already chosen the same fate for his wife’s body a few days earlier. The pain and suffering he endured in front of me is beyond my comprehension.
Things did not go smoothly, however, from the medical or the family end.
While the man had a close relationship with his in-laws they tried to bully him into not “pulling the plug” on Micheal. The relatives lived in another county, about 20 minutes away. The father had decided that his son’s body would be made to suffer no longer than until 3:00pm. In front of me and in no uncertain terms he told the family members be here by three or you will miss his passing.
At 2:59pm they were still not here. They were calling from a cell phone saying they weren’t even in the car yet. This was after many calls from the father pleading that the leave and be here. He had been on and off the phone at least 10 times prior to this last call.
It turned out the errant family members were actually in the lobby of the hospital and when they were convinced he couldn’t be swayed they came charging upstairs to the ped’s unit. Sadness of unimaginable proportions ensued before me.
On the medical end we dealt with several horrific issues. First, the only surgeon available to “harvest” the organs had been operating all night and had another long case scheduled for tonight. Even in the number 2 or 3 hospital for organ donation in NJ he was the ONLY available person. He reluctantly agreed.
No, you can't always get what you want…
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need
Second, the baby’s body was in such bad shape that he could only donate his kidneys. In adult donations the kidneys go to separate recipients. With babies the kidneys must go together; young Michael’s sacrifice would result in only one other life saved. In a complete adult donation up to seven people can be saved from death plus countless others can benefit from other tissue besides the liver, pancreas, kidney one, kidney two, heart, lungs and parts of the bowel. Michael’s life was an even exchange instead of the usual one sacrifice equaling multiple miracles.
Finally, and most difficult of all was that this donation was to be “DCD” or (D)onation after (C)ardiac (D)eath. A common misconception that has been slow to clear is that after someone dies the organs are excised for donation. This is not technically true. In order for the organs to be used the body of the patient must still be alive. All hospitals have their own standard for brain death above state and federal requirements and before a DCD can be done brain death must be proved. Then the body is kept alive while the surgeons collect the various organs in a particular pattern. Technically, the surgeons kill the patient although the patient is already brain dead.
DCD’s are never easy on anyone. Today was no exception. When dad pulled the plug at 3pm the baby stopped breathing. He lay there like a vibrant but dead thing. The body was prepped for surgery and returned to the ventilator so that all the organs might keep working. By 3:20pm he was rolled into the OR.
The family had already left – the father was the first to go crying silently as he went.
The surgeon who didn’t want to do this today took his first look at the boy as the body entered the OR suite. Before he made the first incision he turned to the nurse standing next to me and said,
“What is this boy’s name?”
“Michael” replied the scrub nurse.
The doctor looked down into the toddlers face intently.
“Michael,” said the surgeon. “Michael, Michael I am so very, very sorry.”
No, you can't always get what you want…
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need
Sweating in my scrubs and hidden behind my mask, under my hairnet and other OR accoutrements 3043 cried and cried.
All my bags are packed
I’m ready to go
I’m standin’ here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin’
It’s early morn
The taxi’s waitin’
He’s blowin’ his horn
Already I’m so lonesome
I could die
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
because I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
There’s so many times I’ve let you down
So many times I’ve played around
I tell you now, they don’t mean a thing
Ev’ry place I go, I’ll think of you
Ev’ry song I sing, I’ll sing for you
When I come back, I’ll bring your wedding ring
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
because I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
Today someone died.
Today someone else will live.
I rarely go to work on particular days of the year. Early in my career I learned that my capacity to care and be compassionate has limits. My birthday isn’t usually a day I stay away from the hospital. I don’t know if I should have taken special consideration for today.
A few days ago a house fire broke out. A mother died in an effort to save the youngest, (18 months old), of her children. Everyone else lived but the 18 month old’s body was broken and not long for this world.
Today I was born.
Today a father made a brave and terrible choice.
Today I bore witness to death, hope and the greatness of man.
Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there…" Abraham traveled to remote Moriah and built a funeral pyre. He drew his knife and prepared to kill his only sone.
But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven,
"Abraham! Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.
"Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."
No angel appeared today that I could see or at least needed to see and a son was sacrificed.
The father in question chose to donate what organs of his son’s were still in shape to help other people. He had already chosen the same fate for his wife’s body a few days earlier. The pain and suffering he endured in front of me is beyond my comprehension.
Things did not go smoothly, however, from the medical or the family end.
While the man had a close relationship with his in-laws they tried to bully him into not “pulling the plug” on Micheal. The relatives lived in another county, about 20 minutes away. The father had decided that his son’s body would be made to suffer no longer than until 3:00pm. In front of me and in no uncertain terms he told the family members be here by three or you will miss his passing.
At 2:59pm they were still not here. They were calling from a cell phone saying they weren’t even in the car yet. This was after many calls from the father pleading that the leave and be here. He had been on and off the phone at least 10 times prior to this last call.
It turned out the errant family members were actually in the lobby of the hospital and when they were convinced he couldn’t be swayed they came charging upstairs to the ped’s unit. Sadness of unimaginable proportions ensued before me.
On the medical end we dealt with several horrific issues. First, the only surgeon available to “harvest” the organs had been operating all night and had another long case scheduled for tonight. Even in the number 2 or 3 hospital for organ donation in NJ he was the ONLY available person. He reluctantly agreed.
No, you can't always get what you want…
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need
Second, the baby’s body was in such bad shape that he could only donate his kidneys. In adult donations the kidneys go to separate recipients. With babies the kidneys must go together; young Michael’s sacrifice would result in only one other life saved. In a complete adult donation up to seven people can be saved from death plus countless others can benefit from other tissue besides the liver, pancreas, kidney one, kidney two, heart, lungs and parts of the bowel. Michael’s life was an even exchange instead of the usual one sacrifice equaling multiple miracles.
Finally, and most difficult of all was that this donation was to be “DCD” or (D)onation after (C)ardiac (D)eath. A common misconception that has been slow to clear is that after someone dies the organs are excised for donation. This is not technically true. In order for the organs to be used the body of the patient must still be alive. All hospitals have their own standard for brain death above state and federal requirements and before a DCD can be done brain death must be proved. Then the body is kept alive while the surgeons collect the various organs in a particular pattern. Technically, the surgeons kill the patient although the patient is already brain dead.
DCD’s are never easy on anyone. Today was no exception. When dad pulled the plug at 3pm the baby stopped breathing. He lay there like a vibrant but dead thing. The body was prepped for surgery and returned to the ventilator so that all the organs might keep working. By 3:20pm he was rolled into the OR.
The family had already left – the father was the first to go crying silently as he went.
The surgeon who didn’t want to do this today took his first look at the boy as the body entered the OR suite. Before he made the first incision he turned to the nurse standing next to me and said,
“What is this boy’s name?”
“Michael” replied the scrub nurse.
The doctor looked down into the toddlers face intently.
“Michael,” said the surgeon. “Michael, Michael I am so very, very sorry.”
No, you can't always get what you want…
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need
Sweating in my scrubs and hidden behind my mask, under my hairnet and other OR accoutrements 3043 cried and cried.
All my bags are packed
I’m ready to go
I’m standin’ here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin’
It’s early morn
The taxi’s waitin’
He’s blowin’ his horn
Already I’m so lonesome
I could die
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
because I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
There’s so many times I’ve let you down
So many times I’ve played around
I tell you now, they don’t mean a thing
Ev’ry place I go, I’ll think of you
Ev’ry song I sing, I’ll sing for you
When I come back, I’ll bring your wedding ring
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
because I’m leavin’ on a jet plane